Would I Rather Be Right Than Happy?

Would I rather be right than happy? Particularly when right means unhappiness.

I think this is one of the hardest habits to cultivate for most people, certainly for me. I was brought up to be extremely self-reliant and at times being right was the difference between a good hiding and sore bottom or a quiet life.

In school we are conditioned to “get it right” and only rewarded when we do.

Lightbulb moment for me: I now publicly apologise to my three children who I can now see why they are hard wired to being right.

It is this need to prove our rightness that leads to our self-righteousness and we may be experienced as superior or uninterested in other people views. In “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Stephen Covey talks about private victories preceding public victories.

It is through this philosophy and practice that I endeavour daily to conduct my own inner wars of thoughts versus truths, versus desired outcomes, versus end games..

Ultimately, if the end game is happiness then I am often willing to settle my internal battle and allow happiness to victor over being right.

This usually translates to actions that are fuelled by love and lead to harmony. I do however maintain my boundaries. I am by no means a doormat and I am certainly nobody’s fool.

I have simply learnt through a lifetime of wars and battles that in the end there are no winners only losers and therefore I now choose happiness as my goal every time.

Jenny x