There’s No Such Thing As Criticism, Only Feedback
30th October 2018
In simple terms the clue is in reframing from the word “criticism” to “feedback”. One assumes judgment the latter perspective.
When I was young I would take criticism to heart and be hurt and offended by it. I wouldn’t listen or take on board the feedback or advice that I was being given and therefore I wouldn’t learn or grow from it. Now it is fair to say not all feedback is helpful or indeed accurate but if somebody is willing to take time to offer you feedback it is probably a good idea to at least listen to it.
Ironically it was feedback from professional coaches and mentors, years later, that enabled me to be clear about my core strengths and attributes and how to make the most of them. To speed learn and fill my deficits and to see me as others do and eliminate some of my less helpful beliefs and habits.
As a coach I endeavour to do this for my clients and I know it is when I must take my bravery pills before I deliver challenging feedback that I am being of greatest service to them.
I would certainly rather be given constructive feedback that I can learn from rather than blindly continue doing something that is unhelpful.
So the next time you find somebody criticising you .. smile and say thank you. They really are giving you a gift.
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